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 Wysłany: Czw 11:17, 24 Mar 2011 Temat postu: Nike Womens Shox What is low self-esteem Who suffe |
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What is low self-esteem and who suffers from it?
by Marilyn J Sorensen, PhD, Clinical Psychologist/Author
Low self-esteem (LSE), the belief that one is inadequate, flawed, unworthy, unlovable, and/or incompetent, is both a simple construct and an extremely complex one. How it forms is easy to appreciate, but how it plays out in the lives of those who suffer from it, especially those who appear successful by normal standards, is much more difficult to comprehend.
Basically,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], low self-esteem is a thinking disorder, a way in which one has been led by dysfunctional others, including family, to believe untruths about himself in his formative years. As a result, he is fearful, believing himself inadequate, or he is anxious, never knowing when he might say or do the wrong thing. Often, he misinterprets the motives or words of other people and experiences anger or rejection. All in all, his thinking is distorted. What he thinks is happening is often not so. How he thinks others perceive him is frequently inaccurate. What he believes to be true is often false. This is the dilemma of the person with low self-esteem. He believes these erroneous, negative conclusions about himself and then acts from the basis of this faulty information.
Low self-esteem knows no boundaries. LSE sufferers are professionals and unemployed. They are doctors, psychologists, and social workers. They are construction workers, politicians, major sports figures, movie stars, teachers, street kids, and window-washers. They are wealthy and poor, educated and uneducated, male and female. They all share one thing: Their lives have been shaped and controlled by feelings of self-doubt.
LSE has nothing to do with intellect or abilities, nor is it a measure of the likelihood of success. Instead, it is a fundamental view of self, a view that begins to form at birth. Based on what a person is told, the specific situations she experiences, and how she is treated, a picture of herself evolves. If she is praised, supported, and encouraged, she likely begins to develop healthy self-esteem. If, however, she is consistently criticized and ridiculed, or told she can't do things right, she begins to question her competency and her adequacy. If she is neglected or her feelings are ignored, she begins to feel unimportant; if she is shamed, she starts to feel unworthy and unlovable.
LSE sufferers are found among both the successful and the unsuccessful. Those who have found success have done so largely by becoming overachievers, feeling driven to prove both to themselves and others that they hav
Each of us has an image in our heads that we believe characterizes who we are, a very personal view by which we measure our competence, our worthiness, and our ability to cope and succeed in life. This picture is subjective because it is implanted in our head alone: It's "our" view, based on "our" own interpretation. This view may not be how others see us and it may not be accurate, but this conclusion about ourselves affects the ways in which we approach or avoid life, the ways in which we act and react, and how we shape our hopes and dreams for the future. This view of self is the basis for how all of us perceive, value, and esteem ourselves. It represents our self-esteem―and it impacts our motivation, our creativity,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], our ambition,[link widoczny dla zalogowanych], and our willingness to take risks.
Contrary to popular belief, it is not easy to recognize low self-esteem in someone we know. First, those with LSE have often developed a “look-good," a way to disguise their emotions. They have learned to look pleasant or aloof when, in reality, they are churning with fear and anxiety. Second, many LSE sufferers work hard at being "good" people: kind, considerate, polite, and well groomed. Still others may not seem to have LSE because they are argumentative, defensive, and aggressive. These are the LSE sufferers who have deep-seated anger and resentment about how they have been treated, recognizing that life has not been fair.
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